Hallo! I modelled for the following images in Dusseldorf a while ago with photographer Vernon Trent – a mixture of film and polaroid. So nice to see the results, and I can’t wait for my next trip to Deustschland! Vernon and his lovely lady friend were very nice to work with, and I have always found Vernon’s photography beautiful. đ
I really like the fifth shot.
Also, I recently wrote an article about ‘vanity’ in the context of modelling. (Loyal blog readers might recognise some of the content.) It was published a couple of days ago on the front page of Model Mayhem, and had a great reaction. I was expecting some snarky comments along the lines of ‘why does she think we’d want to read about that… Who is she anyway?’ etc; forum reactions are unpredictable (and I have experience of this from writing for the Guardian; you get such a mix!)! But I have survived and am pleased to know that people are relating to what I say in great numbers. Over on the facebook page of MM it’s had a crazy amount of ‘likes’ and ‘shares’, and I’ve had some really nice messages about it. I have no idea if non-members of Model Mayhem can read the article, so here it is in full, for the record:
Recently, a friend I hadnât seen in about five years asked me whether, doing what I do, I ever feel caught up in the concept of physical appearance. I replied that, actually, I think Iâm far less vain these days than I ever might have been and somehow manage to ignore the media obsession with âperfectionâ and âirrealityâ almost completely. So, here are some scattered thoughts on the subjectâŚ
Vanity
When it comes to modelling, I have a mental list of things Iâm not interested in doing. Itâs the closest I have to âterms and conditions,â I suppose. For example, I wonât knowingly wear real fur. I wonât take part in anything I deem potentially offensive (religiously or politically). I wonât pose in ways I feel are overtly sexual or gratuitously explicit. Itâs a pretty standard little list (I realize these things are quite subjective, but thatâs largely the point), except for one thing I include: âvanity.â
Despite the fact that my images are often described as âpretty,â âsoft,â or âromantic,â and despite the fact that I recently responded to a flattering comment with the words âDonât forget I only show the pretty ones,â I am not scared of looking unpolished, âimperfect,â or âunpretty.â This is what I mean by saying that I donât want to do âvanity.â I am interested in emotion and expression â and HONESTY. This means Iâm not afraid to explore the areas of humanity which arenât so pleasing to the eye. (Iâm rarely taken up on this, but thatâs OK.) Iâm also happy to be completely unphotoshopped in photos (and often am). Iâm totally happy with my body, which is completely different from subscribing to the idea that it is âperfectââit isnâtâfor example, my bones are such that I will always be pear-shaped. Which brings me toâŚ
Self-awareness
Self-awareness is the thing. Iâm aware of my strengths and my weaknesses. Iâm aware of angles which make me look good and angles which definitely donât. I have a massive amount of body awareness. I can isolate muscles most people donât know they have. One of the things recommended to new models who want to âlearn to poseâ is to practice in front of a mirror. I confess Iâve actually never ever done this, but I usually have a good idea of exactly what a pose is going to look like. I think this is to do with my dance background more than anything, and then also from noticing what works and what doesnât when Iâve looked at the images after a shoot. Itâs always fun to see the images on the back of the camera during a shoot, as you can see how the lighting is working for what youâre doing, what kind of crops/compositions are happening, and whatâs going on in the background. But what I mean is this: I generally have a good idea of how to work with my strengths. Iâm aware that Iâm not perfect, but Iâm also aware that I can look good, and that Iâm lucky to have a healthy body which functions well and does what I ask of it, so I think it would be a bit hideous of me to complain or worry. I think this realization, along with my modelling, has made me completely comfortable and happy in my own skin, so much so that vanity isnât even an issue.
Model:Â Ella Rose; Photographer: Iain Thomson
As well as my body, I also have a lot more self knowledge about my face, and confidence about which angles work best for it. Seeing your face on camera repeatedly means that such awareness is unavoidable (even if I did only realize the other day that I can raise one eyebrow); I can also recognize a few of my fellow model friends only by a tiny part of one of their features. There is a detachment that comes alongside such intimate knowledge, which is essential for modelling. At the beginning, when shown a picture of myself during a shoot, I would comment on the angles or proportions of âmy legs,â or âmy chin,â whereas now I am equally likely to say âthe legs,â or âthe chin,â which sometimes makes photographers smile. (Just the other day I was looking at a shot of myself in a two-pose double exposure and, pointing at one of âthe figuresâ said âI like that she is actually touching the other person,â which is extra weird, thinking about it.) Anyway, before I talk myself into an existential crisis, hereâs the crux of it: while knowing their body and face so well, good models must simultaneously become more objective about what image is being presented via the camera; I can now see myself as a sequence of shapes putting forward an overall mood or expression. And such knowledge is inevitable, when pictures of yourself are thrust at you so often; after all, the camera, consistent to the end, doesnât lie.
Itâs possible to pose so much, for example for eight full days in a row, that when you get home you find yourself noticing the way your cat is sprawled out on the grass outside and think, âOh, good pose; nice shape; good leg angle.â At these times, you wonder if youâre more than a little mad, but thatâs OK. I know at least two people who pose in their sleep. (Incidentally, I always appreciate people who, like me, sit weirdly without noticing, just because itâs comfortable, with legs stretched or curled in unexpected possibilities. I get particularly creative in the cinema.)
In some ways, I am probably less vain now than before I started modelling. I wasnât massively vain then either, but I worried more about what people thought of my appearance, which in my opinion is closer to the true definition of vanity. I remember the first time I got on a train for a shoot with zero make up on (as I only had time to do it on the train). My younger self would have found this perversely exciting, a sort of thrill, but mostly terrifying, since people would see my ACTUAL FACE. I now realize that A) I really donât look different without make up on, itâs just that my features arenât âenhanced,â and B) even if I did look rough, gross, half-dead, etc. (although see âAâ), absolutely no one would care or even notice. Itâs silly to think that they would. Iâm just another stranger in the street, not out to impress anyone, and thatâs fun.
Model:Â Ella Rose; Photographer: Rebecca Parker
I have always thought that most people are beautiful if you look at them properly. Whatâs beautiful to me is character and a personâs story. If you can see that in the way they hold themselves, in little details about their manner and in the movements they make with their unique features and structuresâ if they have grace, kindness, un-selfconscious openness, an endearing awkwardness, stress, fear, vulnerability, humor, slight hints of emotion, historyâthe things which make up a life and leave traces on their physicality, then a person holds massive interest for me. There will always be âbadâ photos of me existing out there in the unforgiving world of the internet, and sometimes these can simply be learned from, but maybe the truly âZenâ model would not fear them so much as understand that, just occasionally, âimperfection,â when coupled with self-confidence, can make a shot.
….And soon I’m getting around to looking at some questions I’ve had posed to me for an interview for an excellent website, getting ready to let loose on some more of my thoughts about this modelling business… Such a compliment to be asked, and you just can’t shut me up at the moment.